Wow! It’s been a couple of months since the Backpedaler’s been depressed. Anyway. . .
How many gram calories does it take to increase the temperature of one gram of water by one degree Celsius? How much exertion does it take to burn off the food calories found in a typical restaurant breakfast? The first answer is one; the second answer you probably don’t want to know unless you depressingly know already.
We went to San Francisco to attend a dance last week, and ate breakfast one morning at an International House of Pancakes (IHOP) conveniently close to our hotel. I worked one summer at an IHOP during my high school years as a minimum wage busboy and dishwasher. Food was free and being a growing boy, I liberally sampled the restaurant’s menu choices. Outside of the hot fudge sundaes I made for myself, I can’t remember much of the menu expect for the pasta dinner “Spaghetti Man” ordered every Wednesday night when he dined at the restaurant. I haven’t eaten at an IHOP much since.
Interestingly (and unabashedly honest), that San Francisco IHOP listed calorie counts for each food item on its menu. Sharp-eyed Lucy was the first to notice when her crepes registered in at 700-800 calories. Oops, upon hearing her exclamation, my eyes darted away from the menu choices of my usual breakfasts (1,200+ calories) to something a little more reasonable. I ordered a chicken fajita omelet (surprisingly registering at “only” 900 calories) excusing myself with the knowledge that I would be burning off plenty of those little caloric “water heaters” at the dance that night. Then, of course, our waitress passed a small plate of hash-browned potatoes my way, perhaps an additional 300-400 calories. I figured I’d be dancing a lot that evening, even though I’d be skipping lunch and worrying about the calories the dance’s dinner would add.
The trick was to avoid eating the entire plate full of food, something I was regrettably able to achieve. I walked out of that IHOP leaving behind a three-quarters eaten meal, with a full belly but with a still hungry psyche. The IHOP menu was a revelation. Breakfast omelets, pancake dishes, and salads registering in at 1,200-plus calories when FDA values recommend 2,000 calories per day for the average slob like you and me.
Knowing we’d get a banquet dinner that night at the dance, we spent the rest of the day touring areas of Marin County, the Golden Gate, and Haight-Ashbury without another bite to eat until we couldn’t stand it any longer and bought crackers, cheese, and beef jerky late that afternoon in preparation for the dance. Apparently, we’d burned the IHOP calories off by hiking. We’d burned them off because we knew we had to in order to fit into our dance clothing. But I wonder how many people don’t think about fitting back into their pre-(name your chain restaurant here) clothing.
After four hours of aerobic dance, we ate breakfast the next morning at a small French bistro adjacent to our hotel. The menu had no calorie counts (I had the French version of a breakfast sandwich), and I’m unsure whether IHOP posted its counts voluntarily or whether Federal law required it to by its national presence. Either way, I give IHOP (or the government) credit for displaying those counts.
